Where did the time go? Is it really the day after Christmas already?! It feels like just yesterday I was singing Feliz Navidad and Silent Night at the top of my lungs. In 2008. And here we are, on our way to 2010…

My Christmas was spent with family and friends singing songs of good cheer and eating loads of good foods. Oh, and spreading tidings of joy. We went caroling twice (yes, people still do that) and had a great big family lunch yesterday before heading out to church. It was lovely and I couldn’t help but think how fortunate and blessed I am this time of year to be surrounded by so much love and happiness. As my favorite time of year is ending, I’d like to just let everyone know that I was a very good girl this year and Santa Adi brought me some wonderful gifts…one of which included a Canon 50D!!! Good ridden’s Olympus! I hope your Christmas was very merry and that you too, celebrated the reason behind all the gifts, decorations, good food, and carols.

Merry Christmas from the Lupu’s!!

The other night, Adi and I curled up to watch a movie together. We popped in Frank Capra’s “It’s a Wonderful Life” and in about 3 minutes, I was hooked. It’s crucial to mention that I’ve wanted to see this 1946 classic for quite some time but was very skeptical. And my dear husband? Oh, I had to twist his arm and lure him with chocolate and back massages to get him watching. We were all, a black and white movie? A movie with no special effects? A movie with actors we’ve never heard of? Hmmm…yes, we were doubtful. Well friends, it’s safe to say, this classic has now become a favorite of mine. At the end of the movie, we both agreed that they just don’t make movies like that anymore. Sure there were some parts that we thought were strange…I mean, did they really talk like that?…but overall, the storyline was so good. And so clean. No cursing, no scenes that made you blush or hit the fast forward button, no fighting that made my husband feel like the baddest and greatest warrior of our time, no, none of that. Just a good, clean movie…one that you can watch with your kids around…or your pastor. Man oh man, they really don’t make movies like that anymore.

Since I’ve raved so much about it, I won’t go spoiling the plot too much just in case some of you are on your way to blockbuster. BUT, the movie has given me some things I’ve been pondering over the past couple of days. And believe me, when I’m on vacation, if you can get me to ponder, you’ve done real well for yourself. It’s about this man, George Bailey, who spends his whole life in a town doing something he never really wanted to do in a place he couldn’t wait to get out of. But he did it because it was the right thing to do for his family and his town. *Sidenote* How cool is the name Bailey? Oh lord, if it wasn’t a hard liquor, I would so name my future child that. *End Sidenote* Anyway, the man is miserable. As he begins to settle into his life, he loses a substantial amount of money for back then and FREAKS OUT. Well, God and a second class angel with no wings has been following his life and when George mentions suicide, God tells the angel that he must come to earth and change his mind about taking his own life. If he succeeds, then this second class angel will be bumped up to first class and get his wings.

The angel figures he would accomplish this is by showing George Bailey what life would have been like had he not been born. This has been making the wheels in my head wear out. I thought about the impact we have in others lives and how completely unaware we are of it. Every single one of us is used for something. I’ve just always been so selfish that I assumed I was being used to make my life better, my family prouder, my bank account bigger, my brain wiser. Oh, how I’ve missed the big picture. We’re here on this earth with billions of others and we encounter hundreds each day (especially if your really busy). Maybe at some point, one of you has said something to someone else that has changed the course of their lives. Look, I know I’m special to a few people in my life but come on, lets be real, I’m not running for presidency. So I’ve never thought about my importance in this world. Have I ever impacted someone? Have I ever said something that could make someone else choose a right or wrong path? And then I began thinking of how people throughout my life have sort of led me to where I am now. By either encouraging me, or perhaps even discouraging me.

I guess my rambling leads to this: we affect people every. single. day. An act of kindness, or the opposite…a word of advice…a honk on the road…a helping hand…everything, really. Thinking of it this way, has kinda made me want to be better. To do better by others. To be more careful with my actions and my words. Because you just never know who your going to impact or change by just being born. Maybe someday, I’ll get the opportunity to look back at my movie and see what I’ve done and how I’ve impacted someone’s life. I don’t want this movie to make me cringe and wish I could fast forward through it. I want my movie to make me wanna grab a bag of popcorn and thank my first class guardian angel.

In my junior year of highschool, I was introduced to Robert Frost. This great American poet has written some pretty magical pieces that have made my mind race with ideas and my heart explode with love. Yea, poems can do that to me. I’ve always loved the art of writing…. something about the way writers are able to lace words together and get reactions of all sorts from readers makes my heart swoon.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about one of Frost’s pieces that I’ve read countless times and how true it rings in my life. In “The Road Not Taken,” there’s one particular phrase that he writes that’s left a permanent mark in my mind. He says, “Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I – I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference”.

There are times in our lives where we are presented with decisions. A decision about where to go…what to do…who to be…a choice that may lead to two very different outcomes. I’ve been thinking about my own life in retrospect and how many times I’ve chosen one road vs. the other. About the times when I’ve stood in front of a fork in the road and weighed the right vs. the left. About how different my life would have been had I not chosen the path I’m on now. The beauty in life is that we have this choice and the outcome is unknown to all. The beauty in life is the risk we take and the way life unfolds based on the decisions we make. There have been times when I feel I’ve made the right decisions and then there are those other times… the times when making the wrong decision has helped me grow stronger.

I love that Mr. Frost chose a road less traveled by. One that involves him putting his neck on the line…one that is not as easy as the other. One that he may have to break a sweat on or bang his head against the passing trees. For me, and I’m sure for most, it’s so much easier to take the simple approach to things. To be comfortable. But Mr. Frost’s words serve as a reminder that being uncomfortable and working harder can make all the difference in the world. I’ve taken many wrong turns. And I’ve made countless mistakes. And I’m afraid of making another one. But I know that life will continue to present me with these options….one road vs. another…and I must choose one way. I am constantly depending on God to make the right choice for me but I have a feeling that God is depending on me to choose right by Him.

My hope is that I stop choosing the easy way out. That I take the road less traveled. I guess in life, we can never be 100% certain of choices we make. I’ve been thinking a lot about whether or not I’ve made certain choices because they were easier. I wonder where I would be now or who I would be had I chosen a different path. But there’s one choice…one that I’m sure of. I chose one path in my life that I will never regret. This road has made my life that much better, happier, complete. And I will never look back and wonder what would have been had I chosen a different path. There is no better choice than the one I’ve made…And choosing him, has made all the difference.

This week has been a bad week for dreams. That is, the kind that happen when you sleep. Not sure why, but I’ve had nightmares all week long. To this day, I still dream that I’m in high school and failing math. Or I dream that I’ve forgotten I registered for a class and remembered on the last day. I gotta admit, it’s the BEST feeling to wake up and realize I haven’t failed math.

The worst dreams for me are deaths in the family. I’m sure this stems from fears I have, but this week I’ve dreamt too many deaths which has made me super edgy and really restless at night. I even woke up one night crying. I felt like a child curled up in fetal position waiting for mommy to come and make things better. Except mommy has been replaced by Adi….who can’t be bothered by a bad dream. He usually rubs my back or whatever he can easily reach and says something along the lines of “don’t worry babe, it was just a dream…go back to sleep.” Translation: “why must you bother me now…put a sock in it.”

A few days ago, Adi’s father came up to him and said he dreamt Adi was in a terrible car accident. Last week I dreamt a good friend of mine died in a car accident. I received a text message earlier today from my sister in law saying she dreamt I was hurt very bad. It’s causing me to scratch my head and wonder WHAT IS GOING ON?! What’s with all these horrible dreams? Where are they coming from? I’m not superstitious in any way, but what does it all mean?? I’m not going to lie…it’s freaking me out. My grandmother would pull out her dictionary of dreams and tell me exactly what they all mean. If you dream death, that means that person is going to live forever. If you dream of snakes, that means you have to go to the bathroom. If you dream your teeth fall out, you will loose a lot of money. REALLY GRANDMA? I swear she makes this stuff up. Seriously though, I know God is in control of everything, so why is He allowing these dreams to occur? And why can’t He let me dream I’ve won the lottery instead of failed math? Or landed a huge photography gig…or spent the day in Fiji with Adi and a yacht. Or lived to see 80 with the skin of a 20 year old. Ahh….the things my heart yearns for. No wonder God refuses me.

My prayer for this week for us all is for God to continue to take care of us and keep us in His hands…that’s the best, safest place to be….that’s my favorite place to be.

Warning: This post comes with a dash of vanity.

Lately, I feel as though I am in a constant battle with time. Time has become my biggest enemy. I don’t know where it goes so quickly but I’m always in a rush to get things done within a certain “time”-frame. Ugh. I always think there are not enough hours in the day and am convinced that if I lived in Finland or Alaska for those 6 months out of the year when it’s daylight almost all the time, I’d be so much more productive. Poor Adi has to literally peel me off my computer at night for fear that I will wake up the next morning looking more like the bride of Frankenstein than the one he married. We actually debate over how much sleep I really need. Like pro’s and con’s, lists, printing articles, reading books, getting family and friends involved….it’s serious business over at the Lupu household.

Needless to say, lately I’ve been pulled in many directions. I am trying to find my way and figure out where I’m supposed to be. Somewhere along the way, photography fell into my lap and I fell in love. My brain is obviously right-sided as the two great passions in my life (career wise) are interior design and photography. I’ve second guessed where I’m supposed to be and what I’m supposed to do for many months now and I’ve come to the conclusion that I trust God is in control and will place me exactly where I need to be. So for now, I’m goin’ with the flow and doin’ what I gotta do. But I tell you, there are blank stares and question marks all over my dreams. So between my internships, work, photography, school, and being a 5-star wife, I’ve discovered something that is dreadfully terrible. So terrible, it gives me heart palpitations just thinking about it. So awful, I could shriek in horror…actually, I did. Brace yourselves for the unthinkable. Friends, the other day, I found FOUR GRAY HAIRS. Four. Cuatro. Patru. Tessera. Vier. 4!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my goodness, I almost had a heart attack. I marched in my bedroom and in true Diana-form dramatically declared to Adi that I cannot…will not stand for this. I realize this may seem ridiculous to some of you, but this is completely serious to me. This means I’m aging. This means I’m stressed. This means I have to start thinking about hair dye to cover grays. This means I’m going to worry about grays only to get more grays from worrying about grays. I won’t even mention that my girlfriend pointed out my gray hair last night during church. And I won’t go into detail about how she called it “white” not gray. *Sigh* Time is passing too quickly for me and just like that my battle with time becomes a full-on war.